


Seven Steps to Wooing Jensen Ackles

by wildwordwomyn



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Friendship, M/M, Mild Language, Pre-Slash, Prostitution, Requited Love, Romantic Comedy, Slash, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-23
Updated: 2010-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildwordwomyn/pseuds/wildwordwomyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared likes Jensen. Jensen is oblivious. So Jared, with a little help from Chad and Misha, woos Jensen. Madness ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seven Steps to Wooing Jensen Ackles

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly AU-ish in that the J's are still roomies and neither has a girlfriend/fiancé.

What's a guy to do when faced with the newly introduced fact of falling for his co-star? Who's also his best friend? And a man? And the guy is in no way gay, bi or even slightly curious?

Ask his other best friend Chad Michael Murray for advice, of course. Which, in hindsight, was not the smartest thing to do, but Chad had experience in such matters. Well, not with the man-on-man thing. His thing was minor girls. Anyway, the point was that he seemed to know how to handle the situation. And this was confidence Jared lacked. While the fourth season premiere of 'Supernatural' was being edited they put their heads together and came up with a plan. Anyone with a brain could've told Jared it was a dumb plan. Anyone who knew him and Chad. Hell, a deaf, dumb and blind dog with a broken leg could've barked that only bad things would come of it. Jared, though, was desperate. And desperate times called for desperate measures.

 

 

 

**Step One: Research**

 

They watched 'To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar' late one night with a beer in one hand and a notepad in the other. How Chad came to be in possession of the DVD, Jared didn't know and didn't ask. He just sat down and prepared himself to receive some words of wisdom. And, yeah, he took notes because no matter how bad the movie was it still had entertainment value. Unfortunately for him Harley decided to play fetch and slobbered all over the notes later that night, rendering them useless.

After Chad left that night he watched a gay porno on his computer. It was good he was alone since he popped a woody as soon as the two handsome stars started kissing. Immediately he wondered what kissing Jensen would feel like, and this only made everything worse.

 

 

 

**Step Two: Surveillance**

 

Jared started watching Jensen more, taking notes (again), looking for signs. Sure, he'd watched him before. The man was a better actor and was willing to teach him tricks of the trade. But now Jared was, okay, if he had to admit it, stalking. What? So, stalking? Not good when they already spent an ungodly amount of their free time together as it was. And there were no clues that Jensen was interested in him at all, much to his dismay. But then he did something. It was small and almost went unnoticed. One night after work as they got in the car so Jim could drive them home Jensen casually let a hand fall onto his thigh. Usually not a big deal, right? Since Jared, without shame, was physically affectionate with everyone, Jensen had become more affectionate in turn. But this time Jensen didn't squeeze or jiggle or remove his hand after the appropriately allotted time. Instead he left it there. When Jared looked at him questioningly he just smiled tiredly and closed his eyes.

As soon as they got inside Jared rushed up the stairs to his bedroom and called Chad, who laughed for a full five minutes, and Jared knew because he counted, before calling him a jackass and explaining that a sleepy hand rest didn't mean anything. If Jensen had grabbed his balls, he reasoned between chuckles, Jared would've had more to go on. Oddly enough it was sound logic. Jared figured it was better to move on to step three.

 

 

 

**Step Three: Contact**

 

This step was not planned in advance. After the other steps had proved pointless he assumed over-thinking was getting him in trouble. Spontaneous action seemed best. During the wrap up party of season four he sat drunkenly in Jensen's lap and kissed his cheek. He didn't take into account that this action held no more significance than any of the other sixteen times he'd drunkenly kissed Jensen's cheeks. As per usual Jensen petted his cheek back and smiled fondly. Then Jared passed out.

Step three was a bust.

 

 

 

**Step Four: Obvious Contact**

 

The next afternoon Jared woke, puked, called Chad for support and then brushed his teeth before going down to see his man. Not that he ever called him that to his face. But that's what Jensen was, and it was time to let him know it.

"So...You know you're my man, right?" he announced as Jensen started to flip a pancake. Amazingly the pancake flew up high with enough force to stick to the ceiling a second before falling to the floor. They both saw it happen with delayed, incompatible reactions. Jared's was amused. Jensen's, however, was confused shock.

"That was the most perfect pancake I've ever made in my life, you know," he lamented. His eyes narrowed as he looked down at the pancake.

Jared sobered up, wondering if Jensen had gone deaf. "Did you hear what I said?"

"It was beautiful. Perfectly proportioned, great coloring on both sides, nice and fluffy-."

Jared shook his head, deciding the scene wasn't a dream. It was real. It felt real. "Chad says you're my man, Jen, and I'm yours."

"I was really looking forward to that pancake. Maybe making a brother and sister for it...It would've tasted awesome..." Jensen wasn't looking at Jared. At all. Damn him.

"Chad says I should just 'grow a set, man up and suck your dick'." Finally Jensen's head moved.

"Are you gonna make a pancake that perfect to make up for what you just did?!" Jared didn't know whether to laugh or cry at Jensen's expression. He looked heart-broken, as if the 'suck your dick' part of the comment hadn't registered. Then, finally, it seemed to smack Jensen full force. "Chad said what?!"

"That you're my man and I'm yours?" Jared repeated helpfully, more at ease now that they were having the same conversation.

"And?" His eyes dimmed and his face closed up. Jared couldn't read what he was thinking.

"What?" Jared gulped nervously. "The 'suck your dick' thing? He wasn't serious..." Jensen's eyes narrowed to slits, letting him know now was not the time to share his fantasies about doing just that. "...Okay, so he did mean it but it's not like I told him I wanted to or anything. I mean, you know, I don't want to. It's just-."

"Do I want to know why you're talking about me, behind my back, to Chad Michael fucking Murray?!" At this particular moment Jensen's eyes had narrowed so much they seemed to be shut. Jared knew this meant the man was really not happy. He gave up.

"No," he mumbled. "Probably not."

 

 

 

**Step Five: Acceptance and Advice**

 

After the last four plans turned into epic disasters Jared decided Chad was not the best person to help him in his gay-for-Jensen situation after all. He knew deep down he'd never been right for the job, but really, who else could he go to? Then it hit him like a shot. Misha was like Buddha, except not fat or a god or bald, but he would do in a pinch. Misha it was then.

"Hey, Misha?" Jared cornered him in his trailer after the fifth season premiere was done shooting.

"Yes, Jared?" He watched him cautiously, as if he could tell whatever was about to come out of Jared's mouth would lead to no good.

"You've had threesomes, right? With your wife and another dude? So I was wondering. I mean I have a question? Do you mind?" Jared made his eyes do that thing everyone always called The Puppy Eyes of Doom. Hey, it was necessary!

Misha wisely kept silent. Jared took this as permission to pester him into giving up details. Graphic details. Details he seriously didn't need to hear about how he liked his nipple sucked on while he was fingered and how his wife had used...toys...on him while being...Well, it was way too much, honestly, to learn about the man, hell, even about his significant other, but it was also the one thing Chad had not been. The over-sharing talk was, above all else, informative. On his way out the door he kissed his temple and waved. Misha had a feeling he should've warned Jensen. He didn't. Why? Because Jared knew he was a romantic at heart (well, he was!) and Misha knew that Jared knew. And Jared knew that Misha knew that he knew. Although that probably was neither here nor there...

 

 

 

**Step Six: Spilling Secrets**

 

Okay, so it wasn't an actual secret. He'd told Jensen. Jensen just chose not to pay attention. A lot.

After a quick shot of Cuervo in the kitchen to work up the nerve, Jared walked out to Jensen, sitting next to him on the sofa. They were tired from a long day of stunts and big emotions. Jensen looked exhausted. It was the perfect time to tell him. Or show him. Or whatever. So, Jared maneuvered himself into Jensen's lap. Only this time he ground his hips down into Jensen's crotch and kissed him thoroughly. Cause who would not get the hint after that?

Apparently Jensen Ackles.

"No more coffee for you after 5pm, dude. Seriously. You're cut off from now on." His voice when he spoke was gravelly. Jared's little Jared, already waking up due to the grinding and kissing, became fully awake once hearing it.

Jared couldn't help being confused. He could swear he'd just kissed the man. Like he meant it. And twisted in his lap the way a stripper should. Like he freaking meant it! What the hell?!

"Jen?"

"Huh?"

"You do realize I'm sitting in your lap right?" Jared gazed into his green eyes, watching, waiting, willing the man to finally get it.

"Uh huh." Jensen moved his head a little to the left to better see the television.

"Jen?" he repeated, frustrated.

"What?"

"I just kissed you." Jensen blinked, still watching the TV. Jared blocked his view with his own face. "On the mouth. With tongue." Another blink. "And I'd really like to do it again."

And there it was. An eyebrow twitch. Not much to most people but to Jared it meant Jensen was beginning to hear what he'd been trying to tell him. Suddenly the twitch became a full-blown eyebrow raise. Then the other brow rose. Then his mouth opened. Then Jared became relieved that Jensen's eyes got big enough to pop out of his head.

"Damn, dude. You're slow."

Instead of speaking Jensen dumped him on the floor as he jumped up to pace.

"What the fuck, Jay?! You...You crazy?!" Jensen stopped, looked down at him, at his splayed limbs, shook himself and paced again.

"Me?" Jared stood up slowly. "You're the one who just got kissed by another guy and didn't even register it!" He smiled lopsidedly, a desperate laugh threatening to escape. He shut both the smile and the laugh down quickly. "I've been telling you since, like, forever about my feelings and you're always off in some other world. Like I never said anything! What else was I supposed to do?!" He steered clear of Jensen, running a hand roughly over his face.

"FUCK!" Jensen continued pacing, glancing at him every now and then before turning for another lap. "Why'd you...? You shouldn't...!" Jensen shook his head. "FUCK!" he repeated louder.

"If you're gonna punch me or whatever could you just do it and get it over with? I'd really like to know either way if I'm gonna lose my best friend, you know?" It was a valid question and one that had been plaguing him since he realized he had these feelings.

"Jay, I don't...I mean you just.....Fuck..." Jen didn't drop the f-word often. Saved it for special occasions. Jared didn't know why. He found it helped him whenever he said it. Jen was different. Which was why it was so easy to fall at all. "Fuck!"

At this point all Jared could think about was how incredibly un-funny the f-word had become.

 

 

 

**Step Seven: Resignation and Reconciliation**

 

A month passed in which Jared was only allowed to talk about work and his dogs. Jensen didn't want to hear anything else. He even became immune to The Puppy Eyes of Doom. Jared sighed a little louder every day and every day a little more longing crept into his voice when they did exchange words. He couldn't help it. He knew he didn't have a chance anymore. The wooing had failed. He was dealing with it, with their friendship becoming limited. It didn't mean he had to like it. Misha tried to help him over the worst moments but it wasn't the same. He wasn't Jensen. Even Chad called every day to laugh and make fun and joke about hiring a friend of a friend of a friend who was a prostitute in Vegas. (Jared's pretty sure he was serious on that one, the freaky bastard.) Still, nothing made it any better.

Jared needed contact. Real conversation. Actual physical connection. Without it he became depressed and sad. Unfortunately, he was a social creature by nature. He also hated being alone. So when, on the 34th day, Jensen actually asked if they could talk after another long day on set, Jared literally danced an affirmative. The embarrassed expression on Jensen's face clued him into how ridiculous he looked. He just didn’t care. He let him into the house first, pumping his fist in the air behind Jensen's back.

"Sit down, Jay."

Jared immediately stopped celebrating and cringed. The words sounded so ominous. In his head he heard the 'dun dun dun' of horror movie legend. Something bad was about to happen... "Sitting," he replied warily, folding himself into his recliner.

Jensen stood before him, gazing into his eyes for the first time in a while. "I've been thinking about what you did...I just...Jay, you're my best friend. You know that, right? I mean what I have with you I've never had with anyone. Ever. So what you're asking from me? It's huge. Beyond huge. And I don't like guys. Not like that." His eyes dipped down as his gaze landed on Jared's feet. He found himself wishing he'd worn the other pair of white socks without the hole his left big toe was sticking through.

His heart constricted for a brief second at the news before jump-starting again as he curled further into himself. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he'd expected Jensen to want him too. He'd somehow believed Fate would find a way to make his co-star confess to his own romantic leanings. Although sometimes he also believed the bitch could go screw Herself. That was just his own personal opinion, of course.

"...And then there's you," Jensen continued, his voice softer now, sincere. He lifted his head to look Jared in the eye again. "You with your floppy hair and your toxic gas and your loud laugh and your big feet and all that skin and the way you look at me and you just.....I never had a chance, did I?" He smiled bashfully.

Shocked, Jared squeaked, "But you said-." Clearing his throat, he tried again. "But you said you're not into guys!" This moment reminded him of being on a roller coaster. It was entirely too dangerous and he thought he might puke and yet he felt so damn alive.

"I'm not. I think I'm into you, though. You know? Cause the last month has been hell and you're miserable and I'm miserable and if I say I only wanna be friends it'd change things no matter how much we said it wouldn't. But the truth is I like how we are. So then I started thinking about why I don't want us to change and I realized I like that you want me. It's weird and exciting and scary all at the same time. Which probably means I feel the same way so...Yeah....."

Jensen's rambling was adorable and so sweet it made Jared blush and grin the biggest, cheesiest grin in the history or mankind. Especially when Jensen began to shuffle his feet nervously. Jared leapt up and pulled Jensen into a tender embrace. "Dude, you had me nervous for a second there," he whispered into Jensen's spiked hair. The answering muffle tickling his neck made him grin impossibly wider.

Jensen pulled back a little, catching his breath. "I'm an ass for not noticing sooner," he repeated so Jared could understand him.

"You really kinda are," Jared said, nodding in agreement. "But you're also, like, the most amazing, beautiful man on the planet so you're totally forgiven."

His blush was nothing compared to the tomato-colored redness blossoming along Jensen's face and neck. Even the tips of his ears were flushed. "I...Uh....."

Jared dialed his happiness down a little. "It's okay, Jen. We'll take our time."

As promised the first kiss Jared laid on Jensen was short and closed-mouthed and nothing like how he imagined it and yet completely perfect. Jensen seemed appreciative of his restraint but afterward, when their exhales mingled and their foreheads pressed together lightly, he whispered Jared's name with a hunger that hinted at more to come.


End file.
